Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Nothing to say.

Is saying nothing the same as having nothing to say?
No, I'm not being obtuse.
I'm just not fond of talk of "secret projects" and "can't talk about it" type blog posts.
Frankly, dear reader, I love you too much, and feel that if I were to tease you in this way, you would become unstable and perhaps murder someone.
Rest assured, then, that this delightfully concise and dare I say, modest, blog post, will only report the very most exacting of facts. A mixture of the bleeding obvious, and the merest hint of an update where appropriate.
I shan't (you'll embrace me to hear) waste your very valuable time on things I can't/shan't or indeed, rather rudely, won't tell you about.

So. My top 5 Film and TV facts.

1. Splendid, the sketch show. It's being edited right now this very minute. I could tell you that it's really quite wonderful, but it's possible you'll think I'm just "spinning" you. Instead, I'll show it to you when we're done and you can judge for yourself. There. Can't say fairer than that, can I?
2. I am making a film called Lifejacket. It's a feature film.
3. I am currently promoting a very brilliant feature film script called Blood Red Sky by one Jason Arnopp. I won't tell you how brilliant he is, because his talent makes me rather ill with envy.
4. I went to Abu Dhabi last week, and had a jolly nice time. I may work there.
5. I own a set. I acquired this set from a television company.

and now...

My top 5 pointless facts about me.

1. I once attempted to get Tom Bakers autograph. But failed when my legs gave out, due to nerves.
2. I used to DJ in a club in the industrial area of Docklands. One night, someone asked me for a request, and I simply said "no". They then tried to fight me.
3. At school I charged foolish school children 10p to interpret their dreams for them. Of course, I have no such gift. But was delighted to take money to use for when the ice cream van visited.
4. I still believe there is a Loch Ness Monster.
5. I have only ever walked out of one film in the cinema. Highlander 2. (albeit with only ten minutes remaining)

These things are, of course, irrelevant.


Piers said...

I look forward to seeing your set.


laurence timms said...

I had that Loch Ness Monster in the back of my cab last night. Wanted to go south of the river.

Dan Turner said...

Piers: I will show it to you. I shall.

Laurence: I heard it looked exactly like a glove puppet.

laurence timms said...

It does. It told me it had left its wallet at home as a result of having no pockets. Claimed it was going to borrow some cash off Godzilla.

I called it a muppet and kicked it out on the Greys Inn Road.

What's this set, then? Can I see it too?

Dan Turner said...

as the ridiculous JNT used to say "watch this space!".